Dear Billy Crudup

Please be in more movies. Why aren't you already? 

You've had so many amazing roles a wide variety of movies, like Prince Ashitaka in the Princess Mononoke overdub, as the guitarist with mystique from Almost Famous, as the (Spoiler Alert) double agent in Mission Impossible, or even your cameo as Henry Allen in the ferociously terrible, Justice League. And who could forget your most iconic role as Dr Manahattan in Watchmen, waving your big blue dangly bits about. God, I hope that there was some CGI enlargement happening there, or I hold grave fears for the health & safety of your sexual partners. 

There are so many great roles that you have done and could potentially do, WHY AREN'T YOU DOING THEM?

You lend a bucket load of credibility that is sorely missing in some of your co-actors. I refer to my earlier highlights reel of your acting credits for direct evidence of your efforts. TBF you are acting up against some real blocks of wood so it's not entirely surprising that you would shine. Although even in the absolute space dumpster fire (assuming there are dumpsters in space) of the latest Aliens franchise movies, you held your own against the serious talents of Michael Fenderbass, and Baby Ripley (aka Katherine Waterston). **side note** How on earth they managed to completely cock up movie with such a strong cast and source material is beyond me. 

I've heard the stories that say you are notoriously selective about your acting roles, rigorous in your preparations and dedicated to the best possible outcome. But let’s be honest, if you were willing to appear on the Tony Danza Show, I'm not entirely sure you're that selective. Maybe it's time to pad out the resume. 

How about some more villainous roles as the new James Bond bad guy, go full maniacal madman? Or some psychological thrillers as a next generation Hannibal Lector, or get yourself attached to one of the Star Wars spin off movies. Basically what I'm saying here is that Mads Mikkelsen is stealing all of your roles and you need to be taking that back. You are the American Mads. It's time you started acting like him.

Or, and I'm just spitballin' a suggestion here, have you ever seen the movie "Single White Female"? Watch that, hang out with Mads for a bit and, ya know, see what happens.